


this nightmare you call paradies

by MallowJum



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: A LOT OF CRYING OOPS, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Headaches & Migraines, Hinata Hajime & Kamukura Izuru Share a Body Simultaneously, Nightmares, Post-Canon, Slight Canon Divergence, Temporary Amnesia, damn the crying saga continues, i think, not beta we die like men, or a lot for 6 chapters, this tagging thing is harder than i thought
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-08-17 04:57:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16509770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MallowJum/pseuds/MallowJum
Summary: Cold. Coldness.That was the first thing he felt. Not even having his eyes open yet, he could feel the goosebumps travel down his body.Besides the chilling cold he also felt a headache forming behind his eyes. Was it there since he woke up?Waking up... where did he wake up? Why was he sleeping?His brain felt like mush and trying to remember what brought him here only worsened his migraine, so he concentrated on finding out where he was. Finally opening his eyes to a blinding light, he inspected his surroundings.-Takes place after Hajime wakes up from the simulation





	1. wake up, smell the freedom

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is my first fanfiction that i post here on ao3 and one of the first fanfictions that i even wrote! I'm still not so good at this but i hope you can enjoy this. Have fun!

Cold. Coldness.

That was the first thing he felt. Not even having his eyes open yet, he could feel the goosebumps travel down his body.

 

Besides the chilling cold he also felt a headache forming behind his eyes. Was it there since he woke up?

 

Waking up... where did he wake up? Why was he sleeping?

His brain felt like mush and trying to remember what brought him here only worsened his migraine, so he concentrated on finding out where he was. Finally opening his eyes to a blinding light, he inspected his surroundings.

 

He seemed to lie in a pod of sorts. From beneath him, a serene light dipped the small space in a blueish color. In front of him was a green wall. Could it be opened? He raised his arm to try opening it, only to let it fall a second later. He hadn't realized, but his whole body felt _weak_. There was a deep feeling of weariness in his muscles and his bones as if he hadn't slept just now.

 

But still, he had to try again. He wasn't exactly claustrophobic but being in the small space _did_ make him nervous. He raised both his hands, now with more resolve and with a relieved sigh he opened the hatch ajar. One more push and the green door completely opened.

The boy sat up and tried making out his surroundings.

The room he was in was quite dark, only one small lamp on the ceiling and the blueish light of multiple pods, just like his He couldn't tell if someone was lying in one of those but he would look closer at them later. Right now he was more interested in the three people sitting in the back in comfy looking armchairs.

 

He couldn't see them before but his eyes finally adjusted to the darkness and made him able to see them. They were two men and one woman. Or were they even adults? He couldn't see their full faces because they wore some kind of machinery on their head that covered their eyes but even without seeing their full face, he couldn't tell If they were adults or teens.

Deciding that he had done enough sitting, the boy tried to stand up.

 

Not quite back to his senses, he got out of the pod headfirst, falling ungracefully on the floor. But hey!- At least he got out!

He sat up, rubbing his forehead. Yep, that's gonna leave a bump. But he had other concerns right now. He stood up, a bit wobbly on his feet and the fall definitely not helping his headache but otherwise okay to go.

He moved towards the three people sitting in the armchairs- but before he could reach them the boy in the middle- the shortest of the three- moved. After a few minutes he let out a weird sound and put of the... _thing_ on his head. With a few button presses he got it off.

 

His eyes looked a bit unfocused, as if he also had to adjust to the dark. For a few seconds he just stared of into space before realizing that there was another awake person in the room.

“Oh!” the short one was pretty shocked upon seeing him.

 

“H-Hajime?” Hajime? The taller boy looked a bit confused.

“It's me, um... Makoto?” the other boy tried. This 'Makoto' knew him? And he was supposed to know him too? He squinted at him, as if it would help him remember who this so-called Makoto is.

He _did_ look familiar but no memory came to mind.

The short boy now stood up, making his way to the confused teen. “Um, Are you Hajime? Hajime Hinata?” Hajime Hinata. Hajime Hinata?

“Hajime... Hinata...”

his voice came out raspy, as if he hadn't used it in quite some time. He tried again.

“Am I... Hajime Hina-”

A sudden pain in his head made him cut of his own sentence. He had tried to ignore his headache, but it abruptly became unbearable. It became so unbearable, that his knees couldn't carry him anymore, no more coherent words could escape his mouth, no logical thought could be formed. His mouth was wide open in a silent scream but no sound came out and cold shivers ran down his spine.

 

In the back of his mind he acknowledged multiple people entering the room, but he couldn't really focus on anything other than the pulsing pain in his head.

His long nails cut into his scalp and he wanted it to _stop, please, stop,_ but it just went on and on and o-

Someone put a hand on his shoulder. It was one of the people who just entered the room. He turned his head to the person, a young girl- and she's talking to him, but he _can't_ understand.

The girl puts an arm around his torso and the other one under his legs and before the pained boy can realize what's happening, he gets picked up and carried away.

He doesn't protest, not having the energy to do so and lets himself get removed from the room. His hands also finally leave his head and instead clutch at the red jacket of the girl.

 

Before he knows it, they reached their destination and the girl puts him down on a mattress. She makes a motion to tell him to wait and she leaves the room for some time. When she came back, she was holding a glass water in one hand and a pill bottle. She helped him sit and somehow got him to swallow the medicine.

The headache seemed to subdue after a few minutes.

“It's painkillers” she clarified. “You should rest. Come on, lie down.” He obliged and made himself as comfortable as possible in his state.

Even though there was nothing more she could do, the red-jacket girl didn't leave his side. She took his hind and squeezed once, smiling reassuringly. The boy watched her confused, before asking. “What's your name?”

It wasn't more than a whisper, but she heard him clearly. Her smile only widened when she answered. “I'm Aoi Asahina. But you can call me Hina”

And just before falling into a deep sleep again, he muttered something, sounding strikingly close to “Thank you, Hina.”


	2. call me by my name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll post what i have right now and then i'll try to post once in one or two weeks!  
> Enjoy yourself!

When Hajime awoke the second time on this day, he was alone. He laid a bit in the bed after waking up, just staring at the ceiling and thinking about everything that has happened so far. Or at least about the things that he _did_ remember.

He still has no idea about this 'Hajime Hinata' business, but for the time being he settles on the name. It _does_ feel familiar but a voice in his head keeps saying, that this _can't be right._ But ignoring that voice seems easier for now, so Hajime does just that.

 

He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, only to find something weird.

 _Is his hair supposed to be this long?_ It feels so strange; so usual, it's so accustomed but at the same time... not

He furrows his brow thinking about it before deciding to stop and get up. There's no point thinking about it now.

Standing up, his legs are still a bit wobbly but it's a lot better then when he first woke up.

 

Hajime took a quick look around the room.

There was a window on the short side of the room but the blind was closed, so he couldn't see outside. He went over to the table underneath the window. It was a regular desk with a wooden chair in front of it. He took a seat on it to inspect the desk a bit closer.

There were two framed pictures standing next to one another. The fist one was a photo, not unlike a class photo. He could only recognize the nice girl from before – Hina – and the short boy. Was it Makoto? Yeah, something like that.

 

He put the picture back to it's original place and moved on to look at the other photograph.

There were less people in it, only 6. Asahina and Makoto were on these photos, too, but again, Hajime couldn't recognize the others.

Hina was the one who took the photo, taking it with one arm and having the other one slung around a shocked looking girl with braids and glasses, probably not expecting the picture. A bit behind the braid-girl was another girl with light purple eyes and hair and a small smile on her face.

In the far back of the picture are three boys, Makoto having his eyes closed and mouth wide open in laughter. He's getting his hair ruffled by a tall man with a mane, that could even rival his own hair right now. On Makotos other side is a grumpy looking blonde, trying his hardest to look annoyed but failing to suppress a little smile.

 

Looking at the picture somehow felt bittersweet, even though he knows nothing about these people. He puts the picture back with a weird feeling in his stomach and moves to inspect the rest of the desk.

Who knows? Maybe he finds something that can tell him who he is. Or something like that.

 

There's nothing else on the desk, so Hajime starts looking inside the drawers. Strangely enough, they're all empty, except for one. In it lay a book with the title “So Lingers the Ocean”. Hajime heard about that book, a masterpiece made by a high school student or something. But he was more interested in what he found underneath it.

It were a pair of scissors. They looked pretty fancy, not something you could buy at your local department store.

He carefully picked them up, checking them out. And as he was staring at them, a idea came to Hajimes mind. He put one hand in his suit pocket, strangely enough finding what he wanted; a hair tie.

He made his hair in a ponytail and picked up the scissors again. One hand holding his ponytail, he opened the scissors right above his tie.

Then he snapped them close.

With surprise he realized that the scissors cut his hair of in one snap; these can't be normal scissors! Impressed, and a bit scared, he put them back.

 

Now he had to do something with the cut hair, that was still hold in a ponytail. As he looked at his old hair, a strange dreading feeling formed in his stomach. He _did_ feel better without it, but...

Well, he couldn't do anything about it so he just tried to ignore it. He left his cut off hair on the table and exits the room.

 

He didn't exactly know were he was but luckily he heard voices coming from a room in the hallway he just stepped in. He sneaked quietly through the corridor, trying to find the source of the sound and then he finally made a halt at a half-open door. He carefully peered inside, just to get a peek at the room.

In it were 5 people – the same 5 people that were on the picture minus the braid-girl. Makoto and Asahina just sat there staring off into the distance. The others weren't doing much either, maybe working on a document or something similar to that.

This went on for a few more minutes until Makoto broke the silence. “How are Komaru and Touka doing?”

The man with the blond hair answered him without looking away from the paper he was working on. “They are fine. Towa City is far from okay but they're making progress. At least they say they are.”

Towa City...

When Towa City was mentioned, a memory forced itself into Hajimes mind. A memory of 5 kids looking up to him.

He couldn't quite make out their faces, but he clearly remembered their most prominent features.

Red, pink and blue hair, a kid in some kind of mask and the child in the middle. She was sitting in a wheelchair and while Hajime couldn't make out her face, he could see a disturbing smile on it.

 

He shook his head, trying to get that smile out of his head. Where did this memory come from? While he was wondering that, his legs started to move on their own, without having any apparent reason to do so. He entered the room, startling the 5 people, and before any of them could say or do something besides a shocked noise, words tumbled out of his moth without knowing why.

 

“What do you know about Towa City? How are the children there?”

His voice sounded colder than he was used to but he didn't want to say those words anyway! It as like he had no control of his own body!

The people in the room looked almost as shocked as he felt, but no emotion passed his face.

 

“Hajime? You're awake?” Makoto was the first one to speak up. “Whats... with your hair?”

'Hajime' – or whoever now controlled his body, stared a few seconds at Makoto before he spoke again.

“Hajime... is not right.”

He furrowed his brow as if he was thinking hard about something. As if he wasn't sure. After a few seconds he told the people in the room: “I'm not Hajime”, now with more conviction.

But that wasn't right! He wasn't completely sure then, but he had to be him! He _had_ to be Hajime! _Right?_ So why? Why is he saying that he wasn't?

 

His thoughts were interrupted by Makoto speaking up again.

“Not... Hajime? Then are you...” he swallowed shortly before continuing. “then you are Izuru? Izuru Kamukura?”

A few moments of silence passed before he answered.

“That seems right.”

 

“ _NO, IT DOES NOT!”_

Hajime surprised himself with his outburst. Had he regained control of his body again? He just wanted desperately to be heard and had promptly screamed out the words he wanted to say. But how? He looked at his hands and wiggled his fingers a bit, just to be sure that it was him who was in control of the body.

Satisfied with his findings, he looked up to the others standing in the room, just to be met with confused and somewhat terrified faces.

 

“W-Who are you!? Who are you really?” the blonde spoke up, not sounding completely in control as he probably wanted to.

“Um... I guess... I'm Hajime?”

 _You're not Hajime_ a voice told him but he shoved it aside.

“S-so who are you now? Hajime or Izuru? You're really confusing us right now, y'know?” the man with the crazy hair spoke up too.

Hajime was tempted to say that, _yes, he was Hajime Hinata, stop asking_ , but he didn't want to lie to them. He had been pretty sure that he was Hajime a few minutes ago but now...

But now a voice in his head keeps insisting that he _has_ to be Izuru. So he answered truthfully:

“I don't know. I'm confused.”

The others didn't really looked relieved after that but at least they weren't terrified anymore. The purple girl tried to put on a friendly face. “Is it okay with you if we call you Hajime for the time being? We don't want to just call you by 'hey, you' or something like that.”

Hajime had nothing against it. He felt pretty comfortable with the name so he thought that it was okay.

 

“Alright Hajime, how about we try to explain your situation to you! You seem like you have no idea whats going on, so...” Asahina trailed of. “Yeah, I'd appreciate that, Hina” Hajime couldn't help but be happy with Hina being so energetic and friendly.

“Alright, I'll explain it to you Hajime!” volunteered Makoto happily, seemingly having regained his composure.

“Okay, we'll look after the others then”

 

The four went out of the room, leaving only Hajime and Makoto. They just awkwardly stood there before Hajime couldn't stand it anymore “Um, so... who are those guys?” he vaguely gestured towards the door.

“Oh! I haven't introduced you to them properly, have I? Well I'll just tell you now. You know Hina already, the other girls name is Kyokou Kirigiri. The boy with the glasses and the blond hair, that's Byakuya Togami. The other one is Yasuhiro Hagakure. And me, well I'm Makoto Naegi. Can you remember all that?”

 

Aoi Asahina, Kyoko Kirigiri, Yasuhiro Hagakure, Makoto Naegi and Byakuya Togami...

Byakuya Togami... the name rang some bells in Hajimes brain, but he put that aside for later.

 

“Um, yeah, I think I can remember that.” “Good! I have a question for you too. Do you remember how you got here? Just so you know, we're on an Island”

 

“We're on an Island?” the information didn't faze Hajime all that much. Maybe that means he's remembering! “I got here on a... boat, right?”

He remembers rocking around and talking to a person. The memory _does_ feel a bit weird, like he wasn't actually there and only looked at the conversation secondhand but it was still _his_ memory, right?

“Ah yeah, do you remember anything else?”

“Yeah, I was talking to someone. He was-”

 

_weird, creepy, unsettling-_

 

“-boring”

He doesn't understand why he used exactly this word to describe him but it fit. At least how he remembered it.

 

“Uhm, alright! Anything else?” Makoto tried to mask his confusion with a reassuring smile.

“Sorry, I'm drawing a blank right now. Maybe if you explain, I'll remember?” Makoto clapped his hand together and gave Hajime a short nod.

“So where do I begin... I should probably start with something light, yeah?”

 

“So you and 14 other students were sent to this island. We're on Jabberwock Island right now. Do you know about it?”

“I heard about it, I think.”

“Well, it doesn't matter much. We're in a special facility right now. It was made by... a big cooperation and it is here to keep you guys safe.”

 

“...safe from _what_?” Hajime started to feel a tad nauseous. He had a bad feeling about this.

“How do I say this...” Makoto looked nervous about the subject as well. Hajime definitely didn't like this.

“You guys went to a special school called 'Hope's Peak'. Ah, well y-you weren't part of the main course but I'll come back to that later!

 

Hope's Peak is a prestigious school wh-”

 

“Oh, I know about Hope's Peak! It's where talented high schoolers go to, to train their talent. I was part of that?”

“Well, not directly. You _were_ a student at Hope's Peak but, like I said, you weren't part of the Main Course. You were in the Reserve Course. You could only go to the Reserve Course if you paid a large amount of money. It was a way for, uhm... people who aren't _the_ best to still get a chance at Hope's Peak”

“Oh.”

“I-I'm not saying that you're not talented Hajime! You're really smart an-”

“It's alright Makoto. You don't have to feel bad. Please carry on.” Hajime wasn't as exasperated about this information as he thought he would be. As if he knew all this already. That are good news, right?

“Oh, alright, if you say so.” Makoto looked still as if he felt bad for him, but Hajime flashed him a quick smile, maybe the first one on this long day. The shorter boy looked relived at Hajimes smile and moved on.

“In the Main Course, in my class, to be exact, were two girls. They were a pair of twins called Mukuru Ikusaba and Junko Enoshi-”

 

“Makoto! The others woke up!”

The purple girl – Kirigiri – ran up to the door and interrupted Makoto.

“W-Wha – Really?” he stood up and made his way to the doorway, where Kirigiri stood. “All four of them or just-” “Yes, all four of them woke up. They seem to be in better shape than Hajime was but still pretty out of it.”

“Okay, thanks Kyoko.” When Kirigiri left, Makoto turned to Hajime to give him a reassuring look.

 

“Sorry Hajime, looks like we have a change of plans. Wanna see your friends?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really have no idea where to place the commas, so i hope i did it right jfsdfoishgo  
> and i really really hope that the pacing of the story is alright hh what do you guys think?  
> Thank you so much for reading! I really appreciate feedback and critisism! If something is really not .. uuuhhh good...  
> then please tell!!  
> Thanks again! hope i see you in the next chapter!


	3. Who're these lost kids?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, chapter 3!  
> I'm happy that I found time writing this, bc school is not really being nice on me right now.  
> Well, school is okay, but french is kicking my ass haha  
> But back to the story. I hope i wrote them all in Character. And. I really hope that you like it!  
> Thank you again for klicking on this fic aaaand have fun reading this chapter!

Hajime stared somewhat dumbfounded at Makoto. His friends? So there  _were_ other people in those pods? 

He decided to ask Makoto instead of just staring at him.

“So... who? Who are these 'friends'?”

“Oh, maybe you'll remember when you see them? Let's just hurry over, I can explain later.” He gave him a quick smile and hurried out of the room, expecting Hajime to follow him.

 

Well, that didn't help.

With no clues or grounds of who these so-called 'friends' are, he couldn't do much to remember them better, so he just followed Makoto who led him down the corridor he went through earlier. Seeing the faces of his friends has to help him remember, right?

 

The facility they were in was bigger than Hajime realized. The room where he was sleeping in and the room he just left were on the top floor and they made their way to the basement.

"I hadn't realized that Hina carried me up multiple flights of stairs. But at the same time, I didn't realize most of the thing that was there while she carried me"

“Well, you were physically in a pretty bad state. Probably worse than the others are right now.”

“Why?”

"I'll um, explain when we're all feeling better," he said.

_It's because of me,_ a voice that wasn't his told him. He ignored it.

 

“But anyway, we're almost there! I really hope you'll recognize them!” Makoto seemed nervous, almost excited at the idea of Hajime meeting them. Not that Hajime could say anything about it, he was as equally excited as him.

 

“Alright, they're behind this door. Are you ready?” He was absolutely not ready but he nodded anyway. Makoto carefully opened the door and before Hajime could take a short look around the room again, his eyes fell on a group of huddled together teens, sitting on the floor and sharing a big blanket that the wore around their shoulders. He couldn't see their faces, they were looking away from him but he felt somehow relieved upon seeing them awake.

 

One of the four people – a boy with pink hair - turned around to take a look at the arrivers.

“Hajime?” His voice was weak and strained, not unlike his had been. Upon hearing his name, the other three people turn around to look at him.

He knows these guys, he is sure of it. He remembers talking to them, he remembers hanging out with them but no memory of them actually doing these things came to mind.

 

 

Not that that matters right now, because Hajime had already made his way over to them. He fell on his knees and tried to pull them all in a big hug - what turned out to be pretty difficult because his arms were only  _so_ long - but somehow, it worked. They stayed in this position for a few minutes, not saying anything.

 

When Hajime pulled away, he took a moment to inspect them and if he had to be honest, he would say that they looked  _awful._

And not awful in the sense of 'looking bad' but awful in the sense of  _terrible_ . Multiple scars showed on their faces and not healed wounds were bandaged up. He wanted to tell them how relieved he was or ask them how they felt but Fuyuhiko was the one to break the silence. 

“Your hair looks like a toddler cut it, Hajime.”

"Gee, thanks, I missed you too. You know that you don't look better, yeah?" There was no bite in Hajime's words, and his happiness poured into his voice.

 

The four of them tried to smile at Hajime but it turned into something more like a grimace.

Right, they only woke up, they probably don't feel so good at the moment. He looked at the other five people in the room for support, who, until know, only stood there awkwardly, and silently witnessed their heartfelt reunion. They seemed to get the sentiment and went to where the five of them sat.

“Are you hungry? You guys should definitely eat something. You too Hajime.”

Naturally, Akane was the first one to answer "Yeah, I really need to eat something right now. I feel like'm starving!" The others agreed.

“Alright, let's get you guys to the hotel restaurant.”

 

The five of them complied and followed them out of the facility. Hajime tried as best as he could to support the weakened teens but he himself was still a bit unsteady on his feet, so he just hoped that all of them had enough strength to make it to their destination.

 

“By the way,” piped Sonia up “On which island are we right now?”

"The facility was built on the middle island, the one where Jabberwock Park is. Or was," answered Kirigiri.

“Sonia, you know about this island?”

"Hajime? Of course, she knows about this island, what are you talking about?" Fuyuhikos head tilted in confusion.

"Hajime's memories are still a bit foggy so it could be that he doesn't remember it right now." helped Hina. They all looked suspiciously at Hajime before Kazuichi inquired about what they all thought.

 

“You _are_ Hajime, right?”

 

“...Yeah.” He paused for a second “I think.”

He didn't wanna lie to his friends but he also didn't want them to suspect them. It hurt a bit, being suspected by his friends but it was a somewhat familiar feeling. Not a good feeling, mind you, just familiar.

“But you _do_ know who we are?” 

“Yes _,_ of _course_! Can we please talk about this _after_ we eat? I, um...It's pretty complicated. I think.” 

The five of them still looked skeptical but said nothing more. And so they went on in silence.

 

They got outside and tasted the island-air for the first time in probably a few weeks. But they couldn't stop, so they just kept on moving, over a bridge, past some cozy looking cottages, and into a hotel lobby. Up the stairs and there they were:

 

An open-air restaurant with a comfortable atmosphere around it. The setting sun shined on a long table in the middle of the room. It had fairly mediocre looking food on it, not really anything special, but for Hajime and his friends, it seemed like something kings would eat. They each automatically went to a seat and wasted no time to start eating.

The five of them ate in silence, concentrating entirely on the food, not really wanting to think about what happened. But Hajime couldn't help but think.

What happened before he woke up? Does he have some kind of amnesia? It would be kind of scary if memories just... disappeared. But they didn't disappear, right? He just couldn't remember at the moment.

This feeling of familiarity can't be just one big weird coincidence. He already knew this island, he was sure of it.

But the problem was figuring out  _what_ happened on the island. But no matter how he started, nothing came to mind.

 

Maybe he had to try a different approach. What  _did_ he know? First of all, he knew or was pretty sure, that he was Hajime Hinata. 

What else? Ever since Makoto mentioned Hope's Peak Academy he had faint memories of attending it. He was something like friends with a girl called... Natsumi? Was that her name? He also remembers that he stopped hanging out with her after a while.

Did they have an argument? He couldn't recall.

But what happened after that? He could think of times where he sat in class, working, but after a point, everything was just... dark.

 

_That because you weren't there._

 

 

Oh right, there was  _that._ This weird voice that wasn't his. Up to this point, he just ignored it because he had other things to worry about but maybe now was the right time. 

Back then, when he couldn't move his body on his own, it was like...another presence was towering over him but in his mind. Or something like that.

Was he possessed? Hajime never believed in things like ghosts or spirits. But what other options are there? It really can't be anything else, right?

 

“Do you guys think ghosts exist?” He broke their shared silence. Fuyuhiko just raised an eyebrow and shook his head. The others didn't bother to answer, still eating.

He squinted at his half-empty plate. Was he stupid or something?  _This_ was the first option he thinks of? Ghosts? 

_I am not a ghost_ spoke the voice out. 

'I knew that already' Hajime thought. But that doesn't solve the problem of who he was. Who was he and why was he here? When he couldn't move his body Makoto mentioned another name. It was a weird, complicated name. Izuku? Yeah, something like that.

_It's Izuru Kamakura._

Oh well, close enough. Doesn't really answer who he was but at least he can put a name to this voice.

 

Izuru Kamakura...

That name also came up a lot during his time at Hope's Peak. Just who was he? And more importantly,  _why was he in his head?_

 

"Hey, Hajime, why're you looking so angry?"

“Wha-” He yanked his head up to look at a worried looking Akane.

“Yeah dude, what did that plate do to you?” Now Kazuichi was the one to talk and soon everyone had their attention on Hajime.

“Um, 'm not angry. Just thinking:”

Fuyuhiko gave him a skeptical look. “Well, what  _were_ you thinking about?” 

“Just...trying to remember. You guys might need to help me. I'm not making much progress here.”

They gave him short, sympathetic looks before Kazuichi spoke up again. “Of course Hajime, we'll help you!” He gave him one of his usual, toothy smiles.

Sonia also beamed at him. “Yes Hajime, we'll certainly try!”

"Thanks, guys" The smile just formed naturally on his face. He was sure that with the help of his friends, he would remember what transpired on this island. He just knew.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAA thanks for reading!  
> I really enjoy writing this fic! It gives me a kind of weekly goal or somthing like that  
> I'll try to have every Character have their little 'moment' bc i just love all of them! Honestly, there were some Characters that i had to warm up to, but i reaaaaaally like all of them.  
> I'll hope you enjoyed this and hopefully i'll see you next chapter!


	4. It's sleepover-time, boys!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fourth chapter is here! Heeeey!  
> I hadn't thought that I would have finished this one today! But i'm happy that i did.  
> Thank you again for clicking on this fanfiction and i really hope you enjoy this!

After they all ate, they decided that they would talk later about the complicated stuff. They were all mentally exhausted and needed to relax for a bit.

They all had a medical check-up and after being told that they were good to go, the sun had already set. Hina and the others showed them where they would sleep for the night and with them being too tired to do anything else, they went to bed.

 

And Hajime would have almost slept in if it wasn't for the person knocking on his door right now.

He stood up, quietly cursing to himself and opened the door and in front of him stood-

 

“Kazuichi? What are you doing here?” there he stood in his neon-pink pajamas, looking at Hajime.

"Ah, haha, well I just had this idea!" he sounded somewhat nervous "D'you wanna have a sleepover? You know, soul friends and all that!"

Hajime raised an eyebrow. There's probably more to that than just them being 'soul friend'.

_He doesn't want to be alone after what happened_ said the Izuru-guy.

'Very Helpful' Hajime thought. He figured out that much alone.

 

“Sure, why not. Do you wanna sleep on the spare mattress or on the couch?”

"Thanks, dude! I think I'll take the mat-"

 

“What are you guys doing?” Kazuichi was interrupted by someone talking behind him. It was Fuyuhiko. He must have left his cottage for a walk or something.

 

“Oh, we're just having a sleepover!” Kazuichi seemed fairly excited about the thought.

Fuyuhiko had a strange look on his face. Did he want to join, too?

They all probably don't want to be alone.

Hajime wanted to ask but Kazuichi already beat him to it.

 

“Hey, Fuyuhiko, you wanna join in?”

Fuyuhiko looked a bit relieved, maybe about not needing to ask himself and nodded. “Sure, why not.”

Hajime leaned against the door frame and looked tiredly at the two of them “I have nothing against that but why don't we invite the girls over, too? We should have enough space.”

The two of them shared a short look and shrugged. "Okay, I'll go ask them" Kazuichi volunteered. He quickly disappeared to the girls' cottages. Fuyuhiko just stood there for a second before quickly deciding to enter the room. "I'll take the sofa if that's okay."

“Sure, you just have to bring your own blanket”

“Then I'll go get them.”

 

And so he left the room. Hajime was alone again, now starting to think about his idea.

How will he get them all into this room? Fuyuhiko slept on the couch, and Hajime will stay in his own bed, then there's the spare mattress. That's already three places.

Hajime went over to his bed. It was probably big enough for two people  _and_ the spare mattress had the same size, so two people sleep on the bed, two on the mattress and one on the sofa. That works!

 

He waited until the others arrived and it wasn't long before they were all gathered in his room, carrying blankets and pillows.

“Hajime I heard we were having a sleepover?” Sonia asked.

"Yeah, we just need to decide where we sleep. Fuyuhiko already said that he wants the couch and I'm gonna sleep in my own bed if that's okay." Hajime went over to his bed to pull out the second mattress "Two people can sleep on this mattress and one more person can sleep on the bed."

Sonia helped him pull out the mattress “I'll take the mattress I think” she said.

"Then I'll call dibs on the bed!" Kazuichi interjected.

Weird, he expected that he would want to share a bed with Sonia.

"Good! Then are you okay sharing with me Akane?" Akane gave her non-committal shrug but already flopped onto the mattress. She really must be tired.

 

"Alright, if everything's settled, I'm going back to sleep. You guys should do the same" Even though Hajime's words seemed a bit rude, his voice was soft and filled with concern. After this eventful day, who knows if they could sleep in?

 

They all moved to their respective place and Hajime turned off the lights. The five of them said their 'Good Nights' and then they all went quiet.

This wasn't really like a traditional sleepover, was it? Normally, they would stay awake until 3 A.M. having fun and talking about everything that came to mind. But well, they were everything  _but_ traditional. And Hajime was kind of happy for that. He couldn't stand much noise right now, and the only noises that Hajime heard right now were Akane's snoring and Kazuichis constant shifting to find the perfect sleeping position. He would have been annoyed about the noise at every other point in time but right now, weirdly enough, it was a source of comfort. 

 

And with that, he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

 

-

 

He opened his eyes to people talking.

Many people were talking, more than five, more than ten probably, but he couldn't understand one word, he couldn't make out where he was. It felt like his senses were dunked in water. There was a person sitting in front of him, so he tried to concentrate on them.

“Hey Hajime, you alright? Are you listening?” The girl talking to, it was-

 

"Chiaki?" Hajime shook his head a bit so the strange disconnect from his senses would go away. "Um, yeah, I'm alright, just tired, I guess."

 

His surroundings cleared up and he realized that he was sitting in the restaurant with everyone, with all of his friends.

 

Next to Chiaki sat Nagito, having a rather one-sided conversation with Mikan, who just nodded at what he was happily telling her. To Hajime's right were Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi talking about something and Peko throwing in some words from time to time. On a single table sat Gundam and Sonia, eating together in relative silence. In contrast to the two quiet ones, were Nekomaru and Akane, who apparently didn't know what an inside voice was.

His remaining friends were all also talking and eating, nothing really special going on, this morning. He turned again to Chiaki to resume their conversation.

 

“So, um, what did you want to say?”

“I was talking about this one game that I once played. I said that I think that you would like the main character.”

“Oh right, I forgot.”

“Anyway, I think you would like him, because...”

 

They talked for some time, both invested in the conversation, until Hajime felt something weird at his feet. He told Chiaki to wait and looked under the table to see what he was stepping in.

 

 

Instantly, as he lifted the tablecloth, a metallic stench filled his nose. He held his nose and bent down with a bad feeling to get a better look and proof his suspicions.

 

His feet were sitting in a pool of a deep red liquid and that color, combined with the metallic smell...

Panic rose in Hajime's chest and he went up to tell everyone about his findings-

just to be met with an empty room. Everything was oppressively quiet.

Hajime felt himself slightly shaking.

“Chiaki? Guys? Where are you?” He called out to his friends with a shaky voice, but an answer never came.

Hajime's breath quickened, his panic increasing.

He supported himself with the chair he was sitting in a moment ago and told himself to calm down.

 

He decided to look underneath the table again. Maybe he could find the source of the blood.

He stood there for a few minutes, trying to calm himself and telling himself that everything is okay, that  _the others_ are okay.

Finally mustering his courage, he went over to the table, lifted the tablecloth, and-

 

For a second his mind was blank. He didn't understand what was before him. He had expected to find the pool of blood underneath the table, but what he found was...well, there was still a pool of blood, but...

 

It all came from Byakuya's body, him lying face down on the floor and multiple wounds underneath his suit.

Hajime's eyes widened and he stood up, running out of the room, to find help, to find someone,  _anyone_ -

 

Only to find himself in the beach house.

For some reason, he had a suspicion about what he would find here, almost like a Déjà-vu. He turned around and-

Knowing it would happen didn't make it easier. There she lay, her red hair being tainted by another layer of red.

“Mahiru...” he choked out. He closed his eyes, as if not seeing it would make it disappear.

 

When he opened his eyes again he was at the music venue. He turned around and upon seeing the two bodies, one hung and one strung up on the pillar, he didn't even feel shocked anymore, just...despairing.

 

It was no shock to Hajime when he found himself in Grape Tower. He averted his gaze, not wanting to see Nekomarus broken, metallic body. He couldn't stand it anymore, looking at his dead friends. But it wasn't over.

 

The smell of smoke filled his nose, filled his brain and before him unraveled the nauseating sight of Nagito's demolished body. Hajime felt like vomiting.

 

He turned around and sat on the floor, his legs not wanting to support him anymore. He put his hands to his face and only removed them when he felt a hand on his arm. His heart jumped in his rib cage and his breath fastened in his panic.

“Hajime.” A sweet voice spoke close to his ear. “Come on, look at us.”

 

Even though he was frozen in fear, he moved his head towards the voice.

The voice belonging to Mikan, he found out.

But it wasn't only Mikan who sat there. It was all of them, all of his friends, just looking at him. They were all alive and well but...something wasn't right. Their eyes were glossy and their smiles were downright terrifying.

 

“W-What?” Hajime asked them.

“Come with us, Hajime!” Mahiru interjected excitingly. The others enthusiastically nodded and tried to pull him up to his feet.

“Hey, guys, w-wait! Where are we going?!” he waited for them to answer but no one did.

“Hajime, come one!” “Stand up Hajime!” “You're gonna have fun, I promise!”

 

While they cajoled him and forcefully tried to pick him up, something terrible dawned upon Hajime.

He realized that these people weren't his friends. They couldn't be. Not the people that Hajime knew.

 

“Leave me alone!” he tried to resist but they were many and Hajime was just one. He screamed at them to stop pulling him and he kept fighting and fighting and for a second it felt like he was falling-

 

And he woke up.

 

-

 

“Hey! Are you okay?”

Hajime snapped his eyes open. Cold sweat ran down his face and his breath was unregulated.

Next to him sat Kazuichi, lightly shaking his arm, presumably to wake him up. He slowly sat up and took a look around the room.

 

The others were luckily still asleep and the only one awake was him and Kazuichi. He realized that he hadn't answered his question yet.

 

"Uh. Um y-yeah, I'm okay, just a nightmare." He said as he tried to recompose himself.

Kazuichi gave him a sympathetic look. “D'you uh, wanna talk about it?”

“No, not really”

“Oh. Okay”

 

They sat quietly for a few seconds before Hajime plopped down with a sigh.

“Did I wake you up?” he asked.

Kazuichi laid down too and answered, "Ah, no I was awake already."

Hajime moved his head to his nightstand where a digital clock was standing. 2 A.M.

 

“Have you even slept?”

“Nah.”

“Why?”

“Don't know. Not used to sleeping with other people in one room, I guess. I never really had a sleepover. I only once had a sleepover with my old best friend in our living room, but I couldn't fall asleep so I just went to my own bed while he was sleeping.”

“Oh. Well, do you wanna go back to your own cottage? I'm gonna tell the others where you are if they're gonna ask.”

“No, it's okay. I could probably sleep in even worse in there.”

 

They were silent for a bit but Hajime remembered something that he perceived as strange and he wanted to ask about it.

 

“Hey, why didn't you want to sleep next to Sonia? Not that I'm complaining but it's still not what you would usually do, y'know?”

Kazuichi didn't say anything at first and Hajime thought that he had said something wrong but then he sputtered out everything at once.

 

"When I met Sonia for the first time I thought she and I would be the perfect match and I thought she was my soulmate and she was so nice and she is a  _princess!_ A real princess! But then it came out that she had completely other interests than me but I thought that these were only small flaws and that we could overcome these or that I could adapt to them but she kept ignoring me and I thought that she just doesn't understand that we were made for each other and I kept pursuing her but when I woke up from the Neo World Program I slowly realized that she probably hates me now and I kinda don't wanna talk to her because I don't know what to say after all that and-”

 

“Hey, hey, hey! Slow down! Let me process what you're saying!” Hajime went quiet for a few seconds to think about what was said to him right now.

“Well, you should probably apologize first.”

“Yeah, I know, but how?”

“Just go up to her and tell her that you're sorry and that you won't pursue her like that anymore. I'll even come with you if you want to.”

"Okay, thank you," he said. Then he quietly added, "You sound just like a mom."

“I what?”

“Nothing, nothing!”

They quietly laughed.

 

The two of them proceeded to talk about more or less pointless things until they were both too tired to use their voices and fell both in a peaceful and dreamless sleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sleepover-time, Nightmare-time, Bonding-time... so many times! And such a long chapter!
> 
> Oh, and if anything comes of as shippy (I don't really think that it did, but just in case) I didn't intended that! I do have my personal ships, but i want to keep every realationship in this fic platonic.
> 
> Aahh in other news, i love kazuichi! He is one of my favorite Characters, like he's definitly in my top 5 of all the Danganronpa Characters. I'll try to have all the Characters to have the same ammount of 'screentime' (the other survivors will get their little bonding moment soon) and i really hope that i'll make it, but if it seems like negelected one of your favorites, please tell! 
> 
> Thank you for reading and i hope i see you next chapter!


	5. crying time!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who is crying? ME bc i forgot to update this fic. sorry, i'll try to update it regulary from now on (don't promise anything though, sorry)  
> I acctually wanted to make this chapter longer but i also wanted to upload it today so i hope it's okay.
> 
> Okayy, thanks again for reading my fic and i hope youre going to enjoy this chapter!

“Honestly Hajime, I can't look at your hair. Can't someone cut it properly?”

 

Hajime was currently sitting in the hotel restaurant, eating breakfast and getting his hair cutting-skills insulted by Fuyuhiko.

Hajime only glared annoyed at him and resumed eating. He knew himself that his hair looked horrible but he doesn't have to hear  _that_ in the morning.

 

When he woke up, the others already went to their respective cottages so they could put on casual clothes and left him asleep, wanting to let him sleep as long as possible.

 

It was a little weird, seeing them in different clothes. Sonia wore a tank-top and some leggings while Akane wore a muscle-shirt that was clearly made for men but still fit her, accompanied with shorts. The boys all wore sweatpants and colorful T-shirts that none of them would probably wear under normal circumstances but it was all they had on the island right now.

 

The others ate with him in silence, even with so much to say but they enjoyed their little moments of peace. They still had to explain to Hajime what happened to them on the island and even with Hajime figuring out much by himself, there is still much that is left in the dark. And his missing memory isn't the worst thing! There still the problem with-

 

_Eating breakfast is boring._

 

Yeah, that dude. Izuru Kamakura

'Well, the other option is starving' countered Hajime.

The other voice in his head had scared him at first and, well, it still  _did_ but it started to annoy him now more than anything. 

 

He wasn't all that present on the day Hajime woke up but since this morning he kept talking about this and that and won't shut up about his own disdain about everything. He kept it to himself up until now but he knows that he shouldn't keep secrets. Not from Makoto and the others and especially not from his friends. He will definitely tell them, he just doesn't know how, without freaking them out.

 

He decided to let that be a problem he would tackle on a later time. Right now he just wanted to eat his cornflakes.

 

As he sat there, he realized that Kazuichi was fidgeting the entire time and opening his mouth a few times to say something to the girl in front of him but closing it again.

He really wanted to talk with Sonia, huh? Hajime was happy about that, so he decided to nudge Kazuichi and give him a reassuring smile. He gave a nervous, but now a bit more confident looking grin and turned back to Sonia.

 

“Um, Sonia?”

 

The girl in question looked up, surprised at the lack of the 'Miss' that Kazuichi would always put in front of her name.

“What is it?” she asked politely.

Akane and Fuyuhiko shared a look of confusion but Hajime just lightly shook his head. He didn't want to keep them in the dark so he would tell them after everything was worked out between the two.

 

Naturally, without telling them something that Kazuichi or Sonia wouldn't want to let the others know.

 

“Can we, uh, speak privately? Just for a bit.” he fidgeted with his hands.

Sonia's expression changed indefinitely.

“Alright,” she said a bit displeased.

 

Sonia went ahead without looking if Kazuichi was following. For a moment he was just frozen into place as if he couldn't believe what he was about to do. Then, as if struck by lightning he grabbed Hajime's arm and went after Sonia.

"Y-yeah, I'm coming already! You don't need to pull me," Hajime said as he stumbled after Kazuichi.

He let his arm go and mumbled a quick apology as they went down the stairs to the lobby.

 

Sonia stood at the bottom of the stairs, facing away from them. As she heard the two of them walk down the stairs she turned around and gave Hajime a weird look, before writing it off as the boys' strange antics.

 

Kazuichi stood before her, forcing himself to look in her eyes, while she looked dead-serious into his eyes.

"Kazuichi, I'm not interested-" she started, but she was cut off by Kazuichi.

“I'm sorry, Sonia! I just really wanted to tell you that I am sorry, but I didn't know how to tell you. And I just wanted to ask if you forgive me!”

 

_Why did Sonia even agree to talk to him?_

Hajime held back an irritated sigh. Izuru didn't seem to understand what 'human decency' was.

 

He shifted his focus back to the two people. Sonia looked fairly shocked and seemed to be processing the information still.

 

“Uh, forgive you for what?” she asked suspiciously.

 

Kazuichi took a deep breath and continued.

“So um, on the island I... I always bothered you and acted like you were someone that you really aren't. And I realize now that it was probably really annoying and I'm really sorry.” His eyes were downcast and he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt.

 

Sonia

 

"Oh, uh, o-of course I forgive you, I'm just happy that you realized your, um, mistakes." she was still frozen in place while saying this but that didn't make her words any less worthwhile for the pink-haired boy.

 

“Thank you, Sonia!” he gave her a toothy smile.

But as he looked at her, his expression clearly showed that there was something still on his mind, and his new-found confidence was clearly slipping, so Hajime put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed to tell him that it was okay.

 

Kazuichis face remained uncertain for a few seconds.

 

“Can we be friends?” he finally said.

 

Sonia gave him a smile, a real one, and said with a gentle voice,

“Of course”

 

-

 

Shortly after going upstairs again and finishing his breakfast Hajime was practically dragged away from his seat. But this time it was Fuyuhiko who was pulling him towards the cottages near the restaurant.

 

'I couldn't find any scissors in the kitchen so I'm taking the one from my room so you can cut your hair properly' was his explanation as he shoved him out of the lobby door.

 

“Honestly, why are you so obsessed with my hair?” asked Hajime.

He raked his fingers through his hair. Was it seriously  _that_ bad?

Instead of giving him an answer, Fuyuhiko turned around with a weird expression before turning it into an annoyed one.

 

They continued their walk silently until they shortly arrived at Fuyuhikos cottage. It stood in the same place as it did in these last few, nightmarish weeks.

 

“Come on,” Fuyuhiko said unnecessarily as he pushed Hajime through the open door. He stood silently in the middle of the room as Fuyuhiko pushed past him.

 

He gathered some stuff and then went to his bathroom, carrying his wooden chair. Hajime followed, unsure of what to expect.

 

Fuyuhiko looked at him impatiently with scissors in hand and pointed towards the chair. Hajime carefully sat down and ruffled through his hair for one last time before Fuyuhiko put a thin blanket around him and started cutting his hair.

 

For some time the two boys were silent and only the snipping of the scissors was heard but Hajime decided to break the silence.

 

“Where'd you learn hairdressing?”

 

“I didn't,” he nonchalantly said.

 

“What?! My hair is just gonna look _more_ horrible!”

 

“Relax, I'm not going to destroy your look.”

 

Hajime opened his mouth to say something but decided against it and sighed resigned. After that, they spent a few more moments in silence before Fuyuhiko spoke up again.

 

"This isn't the first time for me, cutting someone's hair..."

“Oh?” Hajime simply exclaimed.

 

"Yeah, it was Na- my sister's hair." He smiled quietly before continuing.

"When she asked me why our father was bald, I told her that the head of the Kuzuryu Clan had to shave their head and that you can't be an heir if your hair was too long. She always wanted to best me and be the heir to the Clan and... it didn't really matter to me but it was still funny, teasing her."

 

Fuyuhikos tone was a gentle one but also one filled with sadness and grief.

 

“So the next day I walked into her room to find her on the floor crying, with blond hair surrounding her and a pair of scissors in hand. Her hair was previously really long but now it barely reached her shoulders. But even while crying, she determinedly went on. I stopped her and told her that the thing with the hair only counts for boys and that girls were allowed to have long hair and so she cried even more. I felt so bad that I cut her hair for her. In retrospect, I probably made it worse and she had to walk around with a bowl cut for weeks! But she told me that she liked her new hair-style and... I was really proud of her. For being so determined”

 

His last words sounded choked up and Hajime decided against asking questions and rather waited. Not stopping himself, Fuyuhiko talked on.

 

"After I went to Hopes Peak, we kind of... grew apart. I lived at the dorms at that time because it took an hour to ride to school from back home and I barely called her. She decided that she didn't want to stay back at home while I was at the Academy but she only got into the Reserve Course." He stopped cutting Hajime's hair for a moment.

“Did you, um, see her there?” he asked somewhat carefully.

 

Hajime didn't answer at first. He had to think first.

“Nat-Natsumi was it, right? I knew her. I even hung out with her sometimes.”

 

“Really?”

 

"Yeah, I remember her. She was bold and sometimes unnecessarily rude but I don't think she really was like that. I stopped her from getting into trouble at times and... we talked together when lunchtime was. I-I don't really know if she considered us friends. I don't know if  _I_ considered us friends but spending time with her... I remember it being fun.”

 

After he finished, he realized that Fuyuhiko had stopped cutting his hair and just silently stood behind him. He turned around to look at him.

 

Fuyuhiko stared down at his hands which were clinging at the back of the chair, with a look that was indecipherable.

“Fuyuhiko?”

 

The boy in question bit his lip and pulled his eyebrows together. The hands that were clutching the chair started to shake and his lips were quivering and then he finally gave in and let a sob escape from his mouth and tears stream down out of his good eye.

 

Hajime went quickly around the chair and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

 

“Hey, Fuyuhiko, look at me, it's okay.”

Hajime never knew what to do when people were crying and so he just stood there awkwardly but apparently Fuyuhiko didn't care because in the next second he hugged him tightly enough to press the air out of Hajime. Then he proceeded to cry into his shirt, sobbing loudly. Hajime, who previously had his arms in the air out of surprise, carefully placed them on Fuyuhikos head and gave him a light pat.

 

“It's just-” another sob “-why did it turn out like this? Why did she- why is- just _why_?”

 

Fuyuhiko sounded so bitter, so  _heartbroken,_ it almost made Hajime cry, too.

They just stood there, both boys not used to hugs and only the sound of sobs echoing throughout the bathroom.

After a while, Fuyuhikos sobs died down and he slowly pushed Hajime away.

 

“Sorry,” he sniffled “for ruining your shirt”

Hajime looked down at his shirt. “I didn't like it anyway.”

“If you say so...” he chuckled.

 

They both paused for a second.

 

“Oh, my hair!” Hajime exclaimed suddenly. He went over to the mirror to see his new look. Surprisingly, his hair looked decent and even resembled the way it looked initially.

 

“Looks okay,” he said.

 

“Wow, you sound overjoyed”

 

Not answering, he just ruffled through his hair again with a pleasant feeling.

_Short hair is okay too, I guess_ said Izuru. Hajime ignored him.

 

Fuyuhiko went over to the little closet in the bathroom to pick out a hand brush and bent down to sweep up the hair.

 

“Wait, let me do it. As, like, thanks for cutting my hair,”

 

Fuyuhiko just shrugged and plopped down to sit on the floor. He watched Hajime as he cleaned the floor, contemplating something before speaking up.

 

“When I woke up... before you came to see us, I couldn't really trust that you were back. As in, that Hajime Hinata was back.”

 

Hajime gave him a weird look.

“Where are you going with this?”

 

Fuyuhiko ignored him.

“Then, when we finally saw you for the first time after waking up, I couldn't- I was afraid that it wasn't you. Your appearance has changed, which is normal because Akane and Sonia and Kazuichi looked different too, but the thing is, that with them I could be sure that it was _them_. Yes, they could be out of their mind but it's still them! I can be 100% sure of that. Of course, I know that you're Hajime but with the possibility that you aren't and your changed appearance - I couldn't help but see someone else in you. Someone that... isn't Hajime." 

 

Fuyuhiko looked both ashamed and relieved at him.

“And I thought that cutting your hair to the way it was before might help me stop doubting you,” he quietly added.

 

Hajime finished cleaning up the floor, sat down too and looked at Fuyuhiko.

“I really don't know what to say right now,” he truthfully said.

 

“It's just-” he started “-well, I think it's okay. I was confused too and honestly, I still am, so um, it's okay.”

Fuyuhiko let out a deep breath and stood up. He went over to Hajime and offered his hand to help him up and Hajime accepted.

"Thanks," he said "let's go back to find the others"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this how people interact? I couldn't know, HA.  
> Get it, bc i dont talk to people, so edgy.
> 
> Was that one part at the beginning just in there so I could imagine the 5 in casual clothes? yes. Am I ashamed? absolutly not i love them
> 
> BUT ANYWAY i just really wanna thank for the kudos and i would really appreciate critisism! I know that my fic isnt that good but i cant really pin-point what i dislike about some parts (I think the fic in it self is okay, at least i hope it is lol). If you have something to critisise and you have the time, PLEASE tell me. It would really help me. And don't hold back! As long as it isn't just outright insults anything is okay!!! I may be a crybaby, but crying wont stop me from fixing my fic. And it also helps me in the long run.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, and i hope i'll see you next chapter!


	6. dreaming of dreams (ft. distraught princess)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man, i've been away for quite some time! I can't update regulary, apparently!  
> I hope you all had nice holidays and i wish you all a happy new year!
> 
> Alright, this chapter was kind of hard to write, i dont really know why but i finished it right now at 4 am and i only went over it once, so i hope that there are no mistakes in it sdkskdskd
> 
> BUT ANYWAY i hope you'll enjoy the new chapter! disclaimer, everyone is a bit emo in this one sorry to be edgy on main.
> 
> Have fun!

The search for their friends was fairly short because they haven't left the restaurant. But as Fuyuhiko and Hajime went up the stairs, they found one more person, besides the 3 people they were searching for. 

“Oh, Hajime, Fuyuhiko, you're here.”

Sitting by the window was Kirigiri. She was facing towards the others and was seemingly having a conversation before Hajime and Fuyuhiko went in.

“Um, were you searching for us?” asked Hajime.  
"Yes. Well, I was specifically waiting for you, Hajime." 

Her tone was somewhat cold and Hajime felt as if he was in trouble.  
"Okay," he simply said. "What is it?" 

“We have been putting this off but we need to tell you what happened. Help your memories. Maybe tell us something we didn't know.”  
Hajime felt himself tensing up a bit. He remembered most of it himself but here and there are some missing pieces. Especially surrounding that Izuru Kamukura-Guy. He just had a bad feeling about it.

But he'll see.

“Alright, tell me everything.”

 

\- 

 

It was better than he imagined but still bad. 

He felt sick, hearing about these weird surgeries and the mass-suicide of the Reserve Course Students. He also kind of just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep for ten years.  
It was his own decision to be the guinea pig for these experiments? What was he thinking? Just to become this... this thing?

You wanted to be proud of yourself, I'm guessing. 

Hajime had a strong urge to just tell him to shut up.

“Is there something still unclear, Hajime?” Kirigiri said, looking at him suspiciously.  
“Um. No.” he thought about something for a second and then added “But I do have something that I have to tell you.” he took a quick look around the room. The others had left, probably because they didn't want to intrude on their conversation.

He had to tell her now. He had to tell her about Izuru and that he was still with him. There was no other choice and this was the perfect opportunity. 

But how should he say it without making it seem worse than it is? He hadn't thought that far ahead.

Just tell her.

Weird. Did Kamukura not care if he told her? He certainly didn't act like he did.  
Well, it didn't matter anyway. Hajime wasn't waiting for his approval, he would have told them whether he was okay with it or not.

“Um, I,” he started. How should he tell her?  
Kirigiri stared at him expectantly.  
“The thing is... the thing is that me, um, I am Hajime, right? But, uh, the, well, the question is, where Izuru Kamakura went.” he practically stumbled over his words.  
“What are you implying?” her cold tone turned suspicious, which didn't really make it any less cold.

"So, I think that he... no, I know that he is still there, somewhere. He-" Hajime's voice was barely a whisper "he isn't gone. He's with me." 

Hajime's gaze was turned towards the table, making him unable to see her face. He really didn't want to see her reaction or even deal with it.  
But he couldn't just stare down all day, so he carefully lifted his head. What he saw wasn't surprising. 

Kirigiris face was full with shock and probably the most emotion Hajime saw her direct towards him. Her mouth was wide open, with her eyes following suit. It was a weird look on her.

Did he mess up?  
“Um. B-but I'm still Hajime! And he isn't really saying anything bad and-”

"Why didn't you tell us?" she asked that seemingly having regained her composure. 

Hajime thought of an answer. Why didn't he tell them? 

"Well because I wasn't sure myself and didn't really know who to ask or what to say. Then, I kind of wanted to tell someone but I had to think of a way that would freak them the least out. And well. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity," he fidgeted with his fingers. 

Kirigiri was looking at him as if searching for something, apparently finding nothing.  
She shook her head lightly and took a deep breath.  
“So... what is he saying?”

-

 

It took quite some time to convince Kirigiri that it isn't as bad as she thinks it is.  
And in the end, she wasn't even fully convinced, ending their conversation with "I'm not sure myself about this yet. I'm going to talk with the others about this."  
It was frustrating, yes, but Hajime could understand her concern. If this Kamakura-Guy really is that talented, they'd probably have no chance against him, if he would try again to bring despair to the world.

I don't care about that anymore.  
“I would hope so” Hajime whispered back. It was still weird, having someone else's thoughts right next to his but he was slowly getting used to it.

Before Kirigiri left to talk to her colleagues, he asked her not to tell his friends about their talk. He wouldn't keep it secret for long but he needed to be the one to tell them, even if he didn't want to. 

But he wouldn't tell them today.  
No, he was already mentally exhausted because he told Kirigiri. He would choose another day.

Kirigiri promised not to tell them and exited the restaurant. 

The room was quiet. Oppressively quiet almost.  
Hajime put his head on the table. Everything that has been told and what he told still has to sink in. Kirigiri and Hajime both tried to keep their stories short but it felt like they were talking for ages.  
He really didn't want to explain it again to his friends. But he had to. It would feel... insincere if it wasn't him who told them Maybe his friends wouldn't even believe it if it was someone else. 

No matter the reason, it had to be Hajime himself.

He turned his head, so he was able to see out of the window. It was only noon.  
This day had felt much, much longer for Hajime. He had hoped that it would be evening already, so he could just go to sleep, without having to explain himself.  
He sighed.  
His friends would probably understand that he didn't really want to do anything after getting everything retold by Kirigiri.

It was fine, he decided after eating a quick snack. It was fine to do nothing.  
And that's what he did.

-

 

Hajime had just lied in bed, trying not to think too hard about anything that involved Kirigiris and his talk. He hadn't really left his cottage, not really keen on any social confrontation even if it was just his friends.  
Even though he was too tired to do anything, he just couldn't rest. It took until evening to even lay down and close his eyes. But luckily, his thoughts halted and-  
he slept. 

He fell into a deep, deep sleep, unconscious and empty, until...

He found himself in a dream again. He was in a rather small room with a window on one side and a door on the other. The room was slightly shaking. Nothing too unusual for a dream.

But this time the dream was different. When he had that nightmare, which he now barely remembered, it felt so real, like it was actually happening. But this time he knew. He knew it was a dream.

Hajime never experienced something like that before. He did hear about it, a dream where you could control anything that happened in it. You just had to know it was not real, that you were asleep.

But before he could think of something to dream or if he should wake up, footsteps were clacking behind him. Hajime jumped and quickly turned around.

“Who is there?” Hajime asked.  
“It's just me” a voice answered. A voice that was so familiar but couldn't be more different.

In front of him was Izuru Kamukura.

“What are you doing here?” Hajime briskly asked.  
“I don't know. Dreaming, probably”

“I guess it kinda makes sense,” whispered Hajime more to himself, ignoring Kamukura's answer “If you're in my thought, I could imagine that you're in my dreams. But maybe...”  
“Maybe I'm not real? Just a dream?”  
“Well, yeah. Who knows.”

Izuru continued to look at him with an unchanging expression. An uncomfortable silence befell the two. Or, it was uncomfortable for Hajime, at least. Izuru probably didn't care.

“So, uhm,” Hajime thought of something to say “how are you?”  
Izuru expression changed slightly, into a more skeptic one.  
“Let me guess, bored?” Hajime added.  
Izuru glared at him but Hajime only raised his eyebrows waiting for him to answer.

“Right now... not” he shrugged.  
He walked past Hajime and sat down on the floor. Hajime followed suit and sat down right next to him. Hajime took another look around the room.  
“Do you know this place?” he asked, not really expecting an answer. But contrary to his expectations, Izuru answered.  
“This is a room on the boat that brought us all to Jabberwock Island. I met that boy with the Luck Talent. You told Makoto Naegi about this. Did you forget?”  
The last sentence was more mocking than it should be but Hajime deliberately ignored that part.

“Oh yeah, I do remember saying that...” Hajime trailed off. 

There was a more pressing question that was lurking in the back of his head for quite some time now.  
“I've been meaning to ask- what... what do you plan on doing next?”  
“Nothing. Don't know.” Izuru simply answered.

Was that the truth? Was he really not planning anything?

"I am not lying" he answered as if hearing what Hajime wanted to know.  
“Are you reading my mind or something?”  
“No, you're just obvious.”

Hajime sighed annoyed. How should he deal with this?  
This- Everything was unusual and different and it was hard for Hajime to get used to it. He couldn't really ignore it either because Izuru was always with him. At some point he has to deal with this.

The two of them continued to sit there in silence, both thinking about their own things. That is until Izuru stood up to leave the room. 

“Bye,” was all that he said. “You should probably wake up.”

Oh right. He was still dreaming.  
“Yup,” Hajime simply answered.

And so he did.

 

-

 

When he woke up, it was morning already.  
Hajime felt exhausted.

He already wanted to go back to sleep and lay in his bed for a few more hours but he decided that he should meet up with his friends. Even though he went out of their way yesterday, he now urged to see them again.

Grumbling, he got out of bed and put on something decent.

By the time he arrived at the restaurant (which kind of became their meeting-point again), his friends were already there.  
They sat at one table together, looking pretty content and eating in shared silence. But even though the scene before him looked fairly peaceful, Hajime felt a pit forming in his stomach.

He couldn't pinpoint exactly what made him feel this way but if he had to take a guess it would probably be the atmosphere.

Whereas the feeling during the killing-game wasn't a good one, it wasn't like this. Yes, they didn't trust each other, they got mad at others, they questioned their sanity.

But now... it felt like none of that mattered. All these feelings, these human, natural feelings just turned into air like it's nothing and all that's left, is regret.  
Regret and guilt.

Or maybe Hajime is just projecting. Who knows. 

Hajime sighed and the others noticed him standing in the stairway.  
“Oh, Hey Hajime!” exclaimed Kazuichi. A quiet greeting was murmured back.  
“How are you doing?” asked Sonia.  
“Fine,” he answered.

They all looked a bit concerned at him.  
“Just tired,” he finished, just to ease their worry a bit. Their expressions didn't change but they also didn't say anything more.

Hajime grabbed some food and they all went back to eating in silence. 

 

-

 

After eating, they all left and sort of did their own thing. Hajime decided that he wanted to go to the beach. The others went to the different islands. They weren't cooped up in their cottages, at least.  
But they just kind of... distanced themselves from the others.

Hajime wondered.  
Now that they had a decent routine on the island and with the excitement died down, did they all really realize what had happened? Does the weight of their actions finally seep in? 

He couldn't know for sure but just the thought of that made him want to talk to them all and explain that he was there for them. That, even if he wasn't the most reliable person, he would try his utmost to be by their side and get them through these trying times. 

Hajime sighed. How much time had passed since they left the restaurant?  
He looked at his wristwatch (one he found in the drawer in his room. It was cheap but it did its job. For now) and saw that it already been multiple hours. 

Maybe he should look for the others, just to check if everything's okay.  
He sat on the beach for a few more moments, doing nothing in particular, before standing up and thus starting his search for his friends.

He took a quick look around the ranch, the supermarket, and the airport but, with no surprise, none of his companions were found. He didn't really expect anyone to be at the restaurant, either but made his way over there anyway.  
The cottages were, to his knowledge, empty and no one sat at the pool so he went over to the Lobby.

As expected, no person could be spotted there.  
But as Hajime approached the stairs to the restaurant, he heard something weird. A noise, that sounded like a person who was trying to hide their sobs in a poor attempt. As Hajime realized what the sound was, he immediately rushed up the stairs to see what had happened.

 

What he found upstairs was something he never really expected to see again.

It was Sonia who sat at a table near the window.  
Her hands were covering her face, her hair disheveled and all over the place and shoulders slightly shaking. The only sound escaping from her were quiet sobs and sniffles.

Hajime had seen Sonia cry multiple times but... not like this. The only time Hajime saw her in this bad of a state was after Gundam had died.

The memory of Gundam's death made him feel a bit nauseous but he shoved the feeling away in favor to talk to Sonia.  
He rapped his knuckles against the door frame by the stairs to make his presence clear to her.  
Sonia's head shot up, her eyes wide in shock. After the initial shock, she shamefully tried to rub the tear streaks away. 

“Hey.”  
Hajime slowly approached her table and sat down next to her.  
“Hello Hajime” she wasn't looking him in the eyes, her eyes sternly staring at the table. 

Now that he was actually talking to her, he didn't really know what to do. In Fuyuhiko's case, it was different. He just had to be there for him, giving him comfort without words.  
Hajime had a feeling that it wouldn't be like that with Sonia.

“What is- what's bothering you, Sonia?” he asked.  
That was probably a good way to start.

She took some time to answer, not really trusting her voice.  
“It's nothing, you shouldn't worry about it,” was all that came out. That only made Hajime worry more.

“Do you want to talk about it?”  
Sonia finally looked at him and searched for something in his face, maybe if she should talk to him or simply make up an excuse and hurriedly leave the restaurant.  
She decided on saying nothing.

Hajime slightly nudged Sonia's leg with his foot.  
“I'm here for you, y'know?”

Sonia's face scrunched up and it almost looked like she was in pain. Then, as if she couldn't stand it anymore, more tears escaped from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. 

Hajime frantically put his hand on her shoulder.  
“Sonia, w-what happened?” 

She hiked and slurred through her sobs.  
“I-it's just th-that I dunno what is going on in my ki-kingdom and 'm scared that s-something bad happened!” 

Her sobs grew louder and louder and she started to look like the little child she never had time to be.

Hajime put his hands over hers, in hopes that it would help her calm down.  
He tried to think about this logically. Sonia wouldn't stop worrying if he just told her that it would be okay. He probably couldn't really say anything at all that would make her stop worrying but he could at least try to ease her mind a bit.

“Sonia, look,” he started, not really knowing where he was going with this “You... I can't say if your kingdom is okay but I know what I can say. You are the princess of that kingdom and I know that you're able to build it up again, no matter in what state it is right now. And it's not just you. We, all of us," he squeezed her hands to emphasize his statement "are always going to help you if you need it.”

He went on a bit longer than he planned but all that he said was spoken from the heart. He truly believed that Sonia could help Novoselic over any obstacle. 

She was staring at him, wide-eyed and mouth slightly open.  
Then, she slung her arms around his torso and pressed her cheek against his chest, her shoulders violently shaking and no apparent end to her tears. Hajime silently hoped that he hadn't made it worse and patted her head.

The position they were in was slightly uncomfortable, with them both still sitting in their chairs but Hajime continued to console her.

Hajime didn't know how long they were sitting like that. After a while, Sonia stopped crying and went back to her seat.  
“I think I'm all cried out.” She rubbed her eyes and gave Hajime a small, thankful smile “I- Thank you, Hajime. I'll remember that, that you guys will be always there for me”

Hajime smiled and nodded, happy that he could help her a bit.  
“No problem Sonia. We're your friends after all.”

They continued to talk, both of them avoiding mentioning anything worrisome. After they talked for almost an hour, they decided to go back to their rooms.  
He offered to accompany her back to her cottage but she declined with an "It's alright, I can manage" and they both went their respective ways. 

When Hajime went to sleep that night, he still had a small smile on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I projecting my own touch-starved self on this fanfic and let everyone hug bc i can't? Yeas  
> Am I ashamed?  
> ...A little
> 
>  
> 
> SIKE i just love hugs so much and i have NO shame sorry to be so nsfw.
> 
> For all you Sonia stans out there, I really really hope I did her justice!! I love her, in my opinion she's a very interesting character and I loved her fte's
> 
> Oh, and i know i already said this, but there is no romantic stuff in this. i just kind of realized that Hajimes and Sonias ineraction could be read as kind of shippy and if you ship it, you can ignore this but everything in this fic is platonic!
> 
> I really hope that the Charakters aren't too out of charakter jjjfddd
> 
> Eh, anyways, i hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next chapter will probably take some time, bc next week school is starting again and i'm going to be kinda busy BUT i will try to write when i have the time!  
> I hope to see you again next chapter!
> 
> PS. if these notes seem like they're all over the place, thats becuse i REALLY need to sleep hh  
> good night fellas


	7. I don't know if you noticed but I really can't name chapters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SORRY!! I really tried to keep uploading at least one time in two weeks but I really couldn't.  
> In my defense, I actually had the quarter of the chapter finished by the 6th of January but my Computer decided to delete my word file :/  
> Of course, my motivation skyrocketed into the ground but I'm still really sorry bc I SHOULD have been done sooner.
> 
> In other news, I think the next chapter will be the last chapter of this WORK. Not the whole fanfiction, just this part of the fanfiction. I actually wanted to make this a whole big thing but I decided against it bc I won't have the time to be working on it but I also don't want to leave it unfinished. Additionally, I wanted to take a little break from this fic (Even though I still enjoy writing it) and maybe write some other things.  
> I'll try to end the fic in a way that could be seen as a standalone fic, so even if I never finish the other part of it, it will still be finished.
> 
> ANYWAY, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!

Hajime never really liked the rain. Either he had to go around with an umbrella the full day or he just forgot to bring one and suffered through the whole damn day with drenched clothes.

But when he woke up this morning to the sound of raindrops tapping against his window, he had to admit that he was pleasantly surprised.

 

At first, he didn't realize that the noise was even there and he continued to stare at the ceiling in his half-asleep state. Then, when finally completely woken up, Hajime quickly stood up and made his way to the window.

 

He could see the droplets running down his window, as more and more crashed into it and outside the half-drained pool was being slowly filled up, little by little with the once-blue sky completely overcast by gray rain clouds.

 

And as weird a thing it was to focus on, it kind of made Hajime realize how real this whole thing was. Even after spending a few days on the real Jabberwock Island, he couldn't help but feel like he was dreaming this whole thing up.

He became conscious of the fact that, yes, he was here, he was here after all these horrible things that happened to them.

But most importantly, he was here and alive.

 

He sighed. Hajime hated to think about all this.

 

He had to get his mind off of these things. So instead of thinking, he put on his shoes and left his cottage.

 

Within minutes he was soaking wet but it was a refreshing feeling in its own way. At first, he just stood there, facing the sky. But some time after, Izuru started to talk to him.

 

_"You are going to get sick,"_ he said in his usual monotone voice.

"What, you worried about me?" Hajime mocked. "That's not like you, Kamukura"

 

Even though Izuru wasn't physically there, he could basically  _feel_ him glaring at Hajime. 

It really wasn't like him to worry about others. Hajime figured that out- and he didn't even know him for very long.

Hajime shrugged it off and started walking. He didn't really know where to, he just let his feet carry him where ever they lead him.

 

So he found himself standing in front of the Old Building and settled down on its stairs.

 

When he closes his eyes, just listening to the rain, he can almost imagine being back home, sitting at his table. Outside of his window, a storm would rage but besides that, the only other noise would be his whirring desk lamp.

Hajime would always study deep into the night, just for the slim chance of getting into Hope's Peak Academy.

 

His parents were always proud of him for having such good grades. His mother called him kind and talented, as mothers do and his father agreed with her every time. Maybe that is where Hajime's obsession with Hope's Peak started. Maybe it started with wanting to live up to his parents' expectations.

 

In retrospect, it probably never really mattered to them if he got into a prestigious high school or not. He tried so hard to make them proud, and now? Now he didn't even know where they were. Or alive for that matter. He could have gone to a completely normal school and lived a completely normal life and his parents would still have supported him.

 

But Hajime hadn't wanted to do that.

 

In the past, his nights were filled with draining thoughts of a tedious, monotonous future that could be replaced with any other persons' and nothing would change.

Wake up every morning, go to work, get home, watch some television, go to sleep, repeat.

 

But such a boring routine wouldn't be the norm for Hope's Peak graduate, right?

 

Hajime could almost laugh at his past self.

It was pathetic, really. Almost destroying mankind because he wasn't happy with himself. Or anything, in fact.

He took a deep breath. He knows that he shouldn't think about this now. Sometimes it's really hard not to but he has to stay strong for his friends. He  _has_ to.

 

"Yo."

Speak of the devil.

"What're you doin' out here?" Akane asked.

 

Her sudden appearance startled Hajime but he answered nevertheless.

"Nothing much." He placed his elbows on his thighs "what about you?"

"Wanted to jog a bit," she responded.

"But you were sittin' there all alone so..." she trailed off.

 

Hajime smiled up to her as if thanking her for the company. She simply shrugged and eyed him up and down.

"Are you wearin' your pajamas?" she raised her eyebrow.

Hajime looked down on his clothes. Technically, it  _was_ his pajamas. 

"But doesn't everything I wear here count as a pajama?"

She shrugged once again "I guess"

 

Hajime slid to the side to let Akane sit next to him. She did so and placed her elbows on the step behind her. Then they just sat there in silence, admiring the rain.

 

After a while, Hajime glanced over to Akane. She had a smile on her face and she looked like she was re-living a pleasant memory. Hajime knew about her past and wondered if she even had that many nice memories.

With such a troubled childhood... it was weird that she turned out so easy-going and strong.

 

"How do you do it?" Hajime blurted out.

"Hm?" She lazily turned her head.

  
"How do you stay so strong? I don't understand!" his voice turned a bit desperate, unwillingly, of course.

 

Her now shocked expression studied his face.

He mentally slapped himself. Ten minutes ago he thought how he should stay strong for his friends and now he was making one worry for him.

 

"Whaddya mean?"

 

Well, he started, so it's no use not to ask.

"How... do you stay so strong? So much stuff has happened but you're still here, smiling,  _really_ smiling and I-"

 

Akane put an arm around his shoulders and Hajime almost expected her to hug him but instead, she put him in a headlock.

 

"Hey-"

 

"Hajime, I don't really know what you're talkin' about," she ruffled his hair, completly knowing what he was talking about, "but you just gotta believe that things will change, y'know? Of course, we've done real bad stuff in the past but we know that now, right? And all that stuff that happened in the program, it's..." she trailed off, a sad look in her eyes.

"I'm sad, yeah. I'm... not over it, of course not," she put her hands back on the stairs "but... stayin' strong doesn't mean that you can't feel sad. Weren't you the one that told me it's okay to cry? Okay to feel?"

 

She looked at him with raised eyebrows. He did say that, yes.

It was okay to feel sad, that didn't mean that he was any less strong. He can rely on his friends the same way they can rely on him.

 

"Akane?"

"Hm?"

"I... need to tell you something. Actually, I need to tell everyone. It's, uh, important."

"Then we should probably be goin' to the restaurant," she said, voice somewhat confused.

Hajime agreed.

 

 

-

 

 

No one was at the restaurant when they arrived, so Hajime made himself some breakfast. He was getting a bit antsy and his foot was tapping against the floor. Akane was scarfing down her food all the while but occasionally looked up to check on Hajime.

 

Hajime couldn't really tell how much time passed but at some point Sonia and Kazuichi walked in, having a casual conversation, and soon after that Fuyuhiko arrived too. They were all here now and Hajime had to tell them.

 

Tell them about Izuru Kamukura and that he is still there.

 

He felt a lump forming in his throat. Akane gave him a short side-glance but didn't say anything. He had to do this now.

He put his spoon away and leaned back in his chair, his eyes avoiding his friends' faces. He started tapping with his foot again.

 

"Is something wrong, Hajime? You have been really quiet this whole time," Sonia asked.

Hajime tensed up. He can do this.

"There is something I have to tell you," he started.

The room fell quiet immediately. There was a pit in his stomach that was making him feel nauseated.

 

How should he tell them? He should have thought about this more beforehand.

"I-It's just-" he was breathing too fast.

"I'm-" were his hands shaking?

They definitely were. He tried to cover it up by putting his hands underneath the table but someone grabbed them before he could.

"Whaddya wanna tell us?" Akane asked, squeezing his hand.

"Yeah, what's got you so wound up?" Fuyuhiko questioned, also putting his hand on Hajime's arm.

 

Hajime opened his mouth to talk. No sound came out.

He tried to even his breathing but it just made it worse. His eyes were burning.

In the back of his mind, he noted that the others were talking to him but all that he could think about is that they would be scared of him, that they would hate him, that they would blame him.

 

They wouldn't, of course they wouldn't, a part of his mind told him. But Hajime just couldn't believe that.

His vision started to blur and he tore his hands of his friends' in favor of putting them over his face.

 

He was sick of lying to his friends but how was he supposed to tell them? Every outcome seemed so hopeless, no matter what he did.

He could feel tears pooling in his eyes.

 

His friends were panicking, asking what was going on and whether he was okay. Hajime didn't answer. He didn't know how.

 

_"Should I help you?"_ Izuru asked. But Hajime frantically shook his head. 

"No," he muffled into his hands "No-" It would just make everything worse.

His fingernails pressed into his scalp but not strong enough to draw blood.

 

One of his friends, he couldn't tell who, tried to pry away his fingers. Hajime resisted but they pried them off anyway.

"Hajime, what's wrong?" Someone asked.

 

He looked up with his reddened eyes. They looked back, faces full with concern. Just the thought of their expressions turning disbelieving,  _distrusting,_ made Hajime want to cover his eyes again.

 

But he didn't.

He tried to take a deep breath again and it almost worked.

 

"L-let's calm down before you tell us what is wrong," he heard Sonia say and he nodded slowly.

Her hand was hovering over his shoulder, not exactly touching but still apparent.

Slowly, steadily, he evened his breath out and controled the shaking of his hands. His heart was still thumping loudly in his chest and he could live without the headache forming but he was calming down.

 

"Okay. I think I'm better," he finally managed.

Sonia, still standing in front of him, studies him carefully and then decides that he was, in fact, better. She took a step back.

 

They all stayed quiet for a minute, until-

"So, what's the problem, Hajime?" Fuyuhiko asks cautiously. Not cautious of Hajime himself but cautious not to say the wrong thing.

"Yeah, you can tell us, we're not gonna be mad!" Kazuichi adds.

"It's... not that," he tells them. "It's just that you're gonna be-"

_wary, disgusted, disappointed-_

 

"We're going to be what?" Fuyuhiko asks.

"We promise that we will not look at you differently after this," Sonia says, determination in her eyes.

A part of his mind still couldn't believe that but he just takes a deep breath.

"It has something to do with Izuru Kamukura."

 

-

 

 

Hajime avoided looking at their faces but he could tell that they were all listening attentively.

 

He told them about everything. How he had woken up, how Izuru was talking to him, the dream he had, how he wanted to tell them about all this himself... he was talking all over the place, saying everything he had to before he lost confidence again.

When he finally decided that he had said enough, he sighs and forces himself to look at his friends.

 

They look at him in disbelief, in shock, but none of them have disgust or suspicion in their eyes. And after the initial shock has passed all of them looked more  _in thought_ than anything else, really.

_"I guess they trust you,"_ Izuru observed.

 

His friends were all thinking, probably to stay calm.

They promised that they won't look at him differently after that but Hajime could already tell that that wouldn't work like that. Of course, they would have a new opinion of Hajime after this. If this opinion was bad or not...well, that was up to them.

 

After a while, Akane chimed up "So, like, what's he sayin'?"

Hajime leaned back and thought. What  _was_ he saying to him?

"Well, today he told me that I would get sick if I stand in the rain too long. And he comments on the things I do, sometimes. He doesn't really talk much."

 

"But, but did he make you, like, do something and control your body or something? Did you, uh, wake up one night on a completely different place to where you went to sleep? Or something?" Kazuichi asked.

"Oh!" Hajime remembered "There was one time where it felt like someone else was moving my body. That was probably..."

 

His friends all fanatically looked at each other.

"And... could he do it again?" Fuyuhiko asked slowly.

 

Hajime paused for a second. Could he?

" _I could if you let me."_

So that clears that.

"But why could you do it back then..." he murmured into his hand, not really aware of his friends waiting for an answer.

_"Because you have just woken up at the time."_

"So physical weakness?" That would make sense. On the day he woke up, he felt pretty...fragile.

 

He nodded to himself, still unaware that his friends were standing in front of him.

"Hajime!" Sonia then finally exclaimed.

"Ah!" Hajime snapped back into reality and looked at his friends, wide-eyed "S-sorry, I was just thinking."

"So?" Fuyuhiko asked.

"So, what?"

"Could it happen again?" Hajime remembered his question again.

"Oh! Yes." He leaned back in his chair and paused for a moment.

 

"Wait, wait! I, uhm, forgot to say that- Well, it only works if I let him!" He quickly added after realizing what he just said. Everyone in the room collectively sighed in relieve.

"So, he is no big thread as for now?" Kazuichi asked.

"I don't think... he is a thread at all" Hajime confessed. Even though he didn't like Izuru very much as for now, his intuition told him that he wouldn't try to take over the world again or something. Whatever he was trying to archive.

 

"...Are you serious?" Fuyuhiko asked.

"I guess. It's just a feeling but I think that something's changed."

He stared at him in disbelief.

 

For a split second, an idea popped into Hajime's head. It was a horrible idea, really. But what did he have left?

 

"Should I show you? That he isn't a thread?" he asked them.

"What... do you mean by that?" Sonia asked carefully.

He ignored her and talked on "What if you talked to Izuru Kamukura yourself?"

"You-you're not suggesting-"

"Yes, I am. I know it sounds risky and dangerous-"

"Because it is!" Kazuichi chimed in.

"-but you have to trust me on this! Please!"

"Alright, and if we do it. What if you were wrong? What if it  _is_ risky and dangerous?"

"Then Akane'll just knock me out," he looked at the girl in question "right?"

 

Akane pounded her fist into her open palm.

"Alright! I'm gonna punch ya if you try somethin' funny!"

Hajime smiled and nodded thankfully. "So? Is someone against it now?"

 

"Well, clearly but... if you're so sure, I guess I'll take the risk," Fuyuhiko said and the other two agreed.

"Right, right..." he closed his eyes "then, let's do this."

 

Hajime didn't really know how to let go of the control of his body, but the instant he thought about it, white dots appeared in front of his closed eyelids for just a moment and he felt like he was suspended in water. Not in an uncomfortable way, per se, but more like he was floating on his back and his ears were underwater, muffling out the sound. But even though the sound was muffled, he could still hear what everyone was saying. Weird.

 

Hajime opened- no, Izuru opened his eyes and stared up, to see four faces. Their stance was defensive. Which made sense, of course, but it was still unpleasant.

"Hello," Sonia starts with the composure of a princess. She probably has experience is similar stuff, "my name is Sonia Nev-"

"You don't have to introduce yourself," Izuru interrupted "I already know who you all are."

 

"Alright..." Sonia continued, voice sounding a bit frustrated "what is your business? What are you planning to do next?"

He crossed his arms and legs respectively. "Nothing."

" _Well,_ we don't really believe that," said Fuyuhiko. 

" _ Well _ , that's your problem," Izuru mocked

"Wha- what do you mean it's not your problem? Of course it is!" voiced Kazuichi.

"No," Izuru answered.

 

He was acting a bit childish, Hajime thought but he couldn't help but feel relieved. Even though he told his friends that Izuru was harmless, he couldn't believe that fully himself. There had been a small amount of doubt in his heart. But him, Izuru, to be rather acting like this instead of burning down the entire island or something like that, had to count for something, right?

 

"Hey, I have a question!" Akane exclaimed.

Izuru didn't answer but she asked away anyways.

"So like, if you share a body with Hajime, do you see everythin' he does?"

 

That was...actually a good question. Hajime had never really thought about it. But it had to be the case, right?

The others were looking at her disbelieving and even Izuru shot up a skeptical glance.

"I...yes, theoretically I could. But I don't care for Hajime's daily life enough to really pay attention to it," he slightly raised his eyebrows "why do you ask?"

"I just wanted for you to say more than five words, after that I can judge your intentions better."

"But I already said more than five words before."

"You know what I meant, smartass."

Izuru simply glared at her but didn't counter against it.

 

For a few seconds, the others thought about what to ask but Izuru interrupted their thoughts.

"This is annoying. I'm going."

"Wait, going where?" Sonia asked.

 

Izuru didn't answer but also didn't move.

"Goodbye," he concluded but also still unmoving.

It took Hajime some time before he realized that he had regained control of his body. The instant he recognized that the weird watery feeling disappeared and every sound came out crystal clear.

  
"Oh, so _that's_ what he meant by going," Hajime thought out loud.

His friends' defensive stance softened.

"You... are Hajime, right?" Fuyuhiko asked.

They could tell? "Yeah-" Hajime answered, "That was weird."

 

"Are- are you feeling okay?" Sonia asked him worriedly.

"Yes, yes, it's okay," he paused for a second "so...what do you guys think?"

They all shared looks.

"Let us just... sit down first," Sonia decided "and then we all can give our opinion."

 

The others agreed. This is going to be a long day, Hajime thought.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izuru: Hey whats up  
> No one: H-  
> Izuru: Shut the fuck up, bye
> 
> Okay, but why is everyone always crying in my fics? Is that saying something about me? Naah.  
> I feel like I ended this chapter way to appruptly but eh.
> 
> ANYWAY I feel like i'm improving little by little! I always think that these chapters are awful, but I have to remind myself that I'm learning and the only way to get better is to Keep On Writing. YEAH!!!!!!JI!!IN!UBB"BUB
> 
> As always, thanks for reading this chapter and I realllllllly hope you enjoyed it! I hope to see you next chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhh thanks for reading! I'm not really good at english sometimes, so if you found a mistake PLEASE tell. Or if you have any criticism that is. I would love feedback! 
> 
> I didn't know if i should use their first or last names but in the end I decided for the english version. I still don't know if I should change it. What do you guys think?
> 
> I'm going to try to upload regulary, but i do have school ssoooo, i don't know if it'll always work. But I'll try!
> 
> Thanks again for reading and I hope you'll like the next chapter!


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